Discovering Makeup: A Journey of Self-Love
By Eshanika Kajaria
My first interaction with makeup was probably when I was seven, I walked up to my mother’s dresser and smeared lipstick across my face, but that was about it. Make-up came back to me when I turned twelve: I started watching tutorials that helped me use makeup, starting with base makeup, simple looks involving minimal tools and supplies and then moving on to more complex looks like vibrant eyelids, bold liners.
Make-up gave me a new sense of power: I could control how I looked, I could paint myself in beautiful shades. Despite this, I hid my love for make-up from my friends, who would indirectly mock women who used make-up, condescendingly stating that they probably did it to seek attention. As I continued to practice using makeup alone, in my room, I began to wonder how this fit in with my identity as a feminist. Why did I find so much shame attached to something that made me feel so good? As I began to read about this on the internet, I learnt about internalised misogyny, which makes us believe that femininity and feminism can’t go hand in hand. Makeup is laden with confusing associations: patriarchal, promiscuous, not professional. Yet to not use it makes women prudes, dull, and unattractive. Make-up shaming, I began to feel, had to stop.
In the American court case of Jesperson v Harrah’s Operating Company (2006), a female bartender was terminated because she refused to abide by the dress and grooming code of the defendant employer which required female employees to wear large amounts of makeup; while men were not permitted to wear any makeup at all. The main contention of the plaintiff was that the makeup rule, “took away [her] credibility as an individual and as a person.” This was because it offended her sense of self; she was made to maintain an appearance which she believed inconsistent with her self-perception. Feminists are divided on this makeup vs no-makeup issue, but at the core of it, feminism is about equal rights, fair representation and personal choices. Choosing to wear or not wear makeup should not be an invitation to be shamed or felt bad about. To be able to make such a decision shows that a woman isn’t conforming to what society has decided for her.
According to a 2011 study by researchers from Boston University and Harvard Medical School, women who wear a “professional” amount of makeup in the office are seen as more competent, capable, reliable and amiable than women who sport a bare face. (It’s worth noting that the study was funded by Procter & Gamble). While wearing “professional” levels of makeup may help you at work, you do have to be careful not to look too nice. A 2019 study found “attractive business women are judged as being less truthful than less attractive women”.
This is just a few examples of the hundreds of double-standards that are at work everyday. Women still have to be careful of how they behave regardless of makeup or not, being too nice may give off the wrong message and being blunt may give you a “feminist” reputation. Empowerment lies in women making choices by themselves without any shame or guilt attached.
Recognising the many ways in which make-up is dictated by the male-gaze, it was hard for me to fully love makeup. But I did realise that I was not answerable to anyone for my choices and decisions. From thereon I made myself believe that I need not justify each and every decision of mine. I didn’t want to live within the boundaries society has set for me. I want to be my own identity.
Now, my dressing table is scattered with various brands: sustainable ones, foreign ones. There are brushes and colors everywhere. I find myself using these to express my moods. My makeup decides my aesthetic for the day, somedays I go for a more natural look with soft pink eyeshadow. On other days, my eyes pop with bold, commanding eyeliner.
Discovering and accepting makeup gave me a unique sort of confidence. I started to love myself, and it just made me comfortable in my skin. I know that there are many out there who are yet to discover their passions too but are held back by society’s expectations and boundaries. The day when women feel free to make their own choices and decisions, especially with regards to their body, will be the day that feminism grows stronger.